Silicon Songs

Weather Report

Good morning.

Today will start off with light confusion and scattered bleariness in the morning, followed by heavy footfalls.

In the afternoon doldrums and cynicism will set in for the majority of the day, with frustration increasing towards 4:00

and alcohol levels increasing dramatically as the workday end.

The evening weather has a high likelihood of take-out and cheap beer, with a 75% chance of Kraft dinner.

Minor arguments will break out later, accompanied by hurt feelings and insomnia.

Secret meetings will increase tonight, turning to widely scattered limbs and disorganized clothing.

Also tonight a steady increase in muggings, overdoses, alcohol poisoning, an suicide.

In global weather

The middle east will experience brief changes in atmospheric pressure and government, with a 50% chance of hostages.

During the afternoon tempers will flare briefly with scattered gunfire and rising body counts.

In North America morning will see a precipitation of government misdirection and human rights violations, turning to a steady rain of terror in the afternoon.

By tuesday, worldwide weather will have changed to widely scattered panic and confusion, with a 100% chance of chaos.

Goodnight.